InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "FREEEEEDOM!!"

randomsome1 (randomsome1) wrote,
@ 2009-09-09 23:39:00

hate mail from twelve year olds

newageamazon linked me to a Stephenie Meyer quote where the woman says normal girls won't defend themselves against attackers. I responded as I usually do and ranted for a little bit. My rant ended up on Buzznet's front page.

I'm currently waiting for hate mail from twelve-year-olds. The macro collection is ready--even though so far it looks like my commenters are the grrl-power types. :D

(Post a new comment)

shiegra
2009-09-10 05:05 am UTC (link)

Except even the girls who giggle and behave foolishly will most likely scream and struggle, run or fight back in fundamental, untrained ways, even if it gets them nothing. Bella's behavior is nigh-suicidal--not 'normal.'

I cannot even express my contempt and loathing enough for this woman, this woman who has the nerve to come out and tell girls that if they aren't satisfied with abusive relationships, if they want to protect themselves, they aren't 'normal.'

And what the FUCK does fashion have to do with a girl being able to defend herself? No, Meyer, it has to do with being fucking stupid, not fucking rich. Get the hell off of my planet and stop trying to screw over the minds of little girls.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	randomsome1 2009-09-10 02:32 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not sure if the fashion thing is anti-Buffy again or anti-Sex & the City. It could feasibly be both. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wingedrivers 2009-09-11 12:01 am UTC (link)
	I defintely picked up anti-Sex there. (Reply to this) (Parent)

yonmei
2009-09-10 07:55 am UTC (link)

Even a girl who literally can't throw a punch - can learn to yell.

Not scream: yell.

Most attacks do not happen on a crowded street. Even the ones that happen on a deserted street: it is always worth giving the guy straight eye contact, glower-down, loud angry voice "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME AND GO AWAY"

(Then punch, if they don't. Or stamp hard on his feet! But hitting someone in the belly is a really effective way of making them think about something else.)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

randomsome1
2009-09-10 02:29 pm UTC (link)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

yonmei
2009-09-11 09:01 am UTC (link)

Yet a girl who doesn't already have it in her head that a few punches aren't gonna be the end of her, a girl who hasn't been in a fight or contact-sparred someone larger than herself, is that much more likely to panic or acquiesce out of fear. It's not a logical thing but it happens.

Yes. I fought my brother from before I can remember till, basically, we both hit puberty. I cannot remember a time when I wouldn't fight. A guy exposed himself to me in a bookshop when I was 14 or 15. It was the first time anything like that happened to me - it was ugly, and eventually when it was clear he was going to follow me around the shop, I just left the shop.

Even at the time, walking away, angry and disgusted, I was pissed off with myself for not having pointed him out to one of the sales assistants. But when I replay it in my mind, what I think of doing is violent - I think of hitting him (actually, *grin*, for years afterwards what I thought of was biting him - really, really hard! and me a vegetarian....). I think of fighting back.

In real life, ever since, whenever someone has tried to harass me sexually, I have mostly not hit them. I've looked at him like I planned to kill him and shouted at him and they have... gone away. It doesn't happen often but of course it happens. (Once, I spit. But that was on a car window at a pair of wolfwhistling assholes. And then I ran away.)

My willingness to get into fights with my brother (and him with me) was one of the things about my childhood that adults found disconcerting and uncomfortable - they didn't like it, they wanted to get us to stop. But I strongly associate that willingness with my ability ever since to react strongly to anyone trying to bully me - and it was clear to me from the first moment I caught that sweaty stinking man's eye in that bookshop when I was 14, that sexual harassment is a form of bullying. They get what they want: you hate it: they like that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(Anonymous)
2009-09-13 09:19 am UTC (link)

I have a friend who's barely five feet tall in heels, but I've seen her deflect an entire pack of frat boys with sheer attitude.

A while ago Psychology Today ran an interesting article about how self-assured women are dramatically less likely to be attacked in the first place. The article also mentions that women who wear slutty clothing are actually unlikely to be targeted by sexual predators. Apparently if they're confident enough to show off their bodies they're probably going to fight back.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

wingedrivers
2009-09-11 12:00 am UTC (link)

*headdesk headdesk* I kinda know what the Meyer freak is trying to say, but she's just... Failing at it terribly.

Yes, an unfortunate majority of girls don't know martial arts, but that doesn't mean that the fight/flight instinct isn't there. If a guy tried to cope them out in an alleyway, they aren't just gonna shriek and hope someone'll come. They're gonna flail, bite, nail, kick, and scream as loud as possible ~~and then be disappointed when Mary comes barging in to save her rather than Gary.~~.

(Reply to this)

	threeoranges 2009-09-11 11:31 pm UTC (link)
	I love the responses you've had so far - clearly the "Screw you I would rather be FEMININE than fight my own battles" brigade know better than to pipe up here. This is one of those posts that MAY just save a life one day. Kudos! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	randomsome1 2009-09-12 04:59 am UTC (link)
	:D (Reply to this) (Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2009-09-19 04:38 pm UTC (link)
	I'm so proud of you! and I'm pretty sure it's the other way around: it would be more normal to fight/flight than to not fight back. and sheer attitude is always a good defence. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	randomsome1 2009-09-20 01:06 am UTC (link)
	Not fighting at all just enables your perfect man to save you that much more quickly, I think. Or was it that it gets you assaulted/murdered that much more easily? Oh dear, I forget. :P (Reply to this) (Parent)