Similarly Snarky Coworker: old boy is lookin for ANY port in a storm
Me: He's walkin' around with a left port and right port, no need to go sailing into undoubtedly stormy territory.
Me: Unless he likes getting the ol' dingy wrecked, of course.
Me: (Your naval metaphor, I raise you.)
Similarly Snarky Coworker: Worst part is, the jackass is sailing for ports he knows are closed, because no one wants a dried up old crusty salt like him dropping anchor at their dock and lettin lose a nasty ass bunch of sailors out into the city.
Similarly Snarky Coworker: ((I call))
Me: (Fuck.)
(context is a problematic coworker who doesn't yet understand that we don't hit on married or otherwise attached people)
(It has been a really long fucking day.)
(But. But! I have fixed it. I have fresh bread, warm milk, and my ultimate gleeful moment set to techno. The best part starts at about :45.)
Me: He's walkin' around with a left port and right port, no need to go sailing into undoubtedly stormy territory.
Me: Unless he likes getting the ol' dingy wrecked, of course.
Me: (Your naval metaphor, I raise you.)
Similarly Snarky Coworker: Worst part is, the jackass is sailing for ports he knows are closed, because no one wants a dried up old crusty salt like him dropping anchor at their dock and lettin lose a nasty ass bunch of sailors out into the city.
Similarly Snarky Coworker: ((I call))
Me: (Fuck.)
(context is a problematic coworker who doesn't yet understand that we don't hit on married or otherwise attached people)
(It has been a really long fucking day.)
(But. But! I have fixed it. I have fresh bread, warm milk, and my ultimate gleeful moment set to techno. The best part starts at about :45.)